A Mad Man In A Mad World

Greetings all,

I am afraid i have taken a turn for the worst, well thats according to the Japanese version.

My school in Japan has become increasingly worried with my behaivour of late. I see no change, its probably the same as an addict not seeing his/her world crumbling around them, as a result of their addiction.

I have enclosed 2 photographs that i have taken with 3 days of each other, so you, the avid reader can decide for yourself. Lets make it into a game, you can email me and tell me which you think is my 'real' hair.

This kind of behaivour brings embaressment onto my English teacher, who is 'supposedly' responsible for informing me of everyday events in japan, but only succeeds in telling me off for doing things wrong and apologising for forgetting to tell me about that all important school/village event which i missed. It reminds me of my 1st couple of weeks in my village. It was a Friday and my principal asked me if i was free that night, i said 'i am not sure, why?' he said they were having a welcoming party for me. i kinda laughed, as i could have imagined their party in full swing without the guest of honour. The japanese love to spring uncomfortable surprises on their Gaijin guests, so i have taken their game back to them, and i think i am winning!

The great thing about Japan, is they are traditionally a non-direct culture, therefore they cannot command you to do anything, they can only recommend or suggest it. for example, i am known around our area for my excessive speed whilst driving from A to B. This usually involves me exceeding the 40-50km speed limit on a long 1km straight in my attempt to become airborne and break the speed barrier while overtaking cars and trucks which look like they were made from Lego or some other childs toy. for the latest in Japanese automobiles you can get a sneak peek at www.lego.com So during my usual overtaking manuvers, i seemed to have passed some of my teachers in their Lego cars. Today at school my teacher tried in vain to tell me to slow and not exceed the speed limit, i just agreed with her and pretended to be amazed at the dangers of such driving. But i have had this lecture twice before, so i am hoping that they will get the hint that i am not going to learn. I guess they have the same rationale as me.

So the 3rd grade children at school are preparing to graduate tomorrow, so all day they have been practicing standing up/sitting down and crying on cue. I decided i would go home and do more important educational matters, such as playing PSX2 and tidying the house. This has become a daily occurance, and quite a perk of the 'job'. Because once again, when my english teacher challenges me to where i have been for 2 hours, i can simply say 'around' which is true but not the answer she wanted.

I think she is more concerned that i would come to school today in an afro wig, and not take it off, even when she asked at 12 noon 'why you are still wearing it?' (note the bad english, hers, not mine) i told her, 'i feel myself turning japanese, and i think this will cure me' i figure stupid questions require stupid answers. The poor lady, she kept asking 'why dont you take off it?' i stuck to my story, and after her 3 minutes of staring at me with that blank japanese look on her face, she left. Thats basically how my life transpires here in Japan. You are brought here on the false pretence of 'internationalisation' and then condemned for being different, your co-workers shun you until you conform and then wonder why you are so quiet all of a sudden. Ahhhhh Japanese Irony at its best.

I am making an effort to write more, but i find that the more i spend typing, the less time i have to play PSX2 and do that load of washing at home. My apologies in advance, I will do my Japanesey best, and even bow down to put that cherry on the top. Laters,

Gleg