Korea, Koks & Kwogk

Sunday

I was woken by my TV turning on at 6am, it was porn. The previous tenant must have found it an effective way to wake up.

I was intent on buying new glasses in Korea, having heard from all my blind friends that it's the cheapest place to get them. So I set off and found a reputable store (they had a pair of glasses in the window), chose 1 pair for 30$ and some sunglasses for 80$, then bummed around in the markets for the 3 hours that they said it would take to make them. I was looking around the markets amazed at the range of things you could buy, I thought I saw my mum for sale, until I realized it was a Korean imitation of her. I also saw a lady with no legs pulling herself along the ground on a trolley shining peoples shoes, she had wrapped her lower torso in some wetsuit material, so she looked just like a mermaid, just without the beauty, but she did have the fishy smell, the whole section of the food market smelled disgusting. The clothes section was pretty cool.

When I returned for my glasses I was surprised that I could see better through them when I closed each eye, but that things were slightly warped when both were open, when I walked I would bump into random things, I felt Japanese. After explaining to the pushy Korean clerk that something was wrong, he asked me my name, I told him Greg, he explained that sometimes it takes a while to get used to new glasses, I told him, that I agreed, but I shouldn't be banging into every Tom, Dick and Hairy. He reluctantly retested my eyes and found that he had made a slight mistake in the prescription, so while they were redoing it, would I like to have some "cock?" I said "huh?" He told me there was some cock over there, and I could help myself to it while I was waiting. After asking him to say it again it dawned on me he was trying to say "coke". So I was sitting there drinking my cock/coke and suddenly they were calling out to some guy called George, I soon realized that they were calling me. I am pretty sure Curious George is popular in Korea as in Japan, the bastard! When they showed me my sunglasses that they made, they told me that they had cracked the lens, so they would have to redo it; I explained that I was leaving the next day. The man told me "Kwogk, we will send them to you." I had suddenly transformed from Greg into George into an honorary Korean citizen, with my own Korean name Kwogk, no papers needed to be signed or anything! So I set off with my one pair, bumping into people along the way, but looking cool.