Korea, Koks & Kwogk

Friday

My trip to Korea started on the Friday morning when I set off to the international port in Fukuoka. I promptly got lost at the bus station and got a lecture from my bus driver for asking for Hakata station instead of Harada, or was it the other way around? See what I mean? Getting a lecture in Japanese always makes me laugh. I pretend to pay attention, but it's that old case of in one ear and out the other. I promptly found someone I felt would take pity on my stupidity and asked the directions to the Ferry port. To my surprise the man took me by the hand and led me to the correct bus stop and. well not literally by the hand, after all I had just met him, I usually wait for the second date.

I caught the "Beetle" from Fukuoka to Pusan. A pleasant 3-hour journey which was constantly interrupted by drunken Japanese teachers, obviously overjoyed at returning to the scene of so much carnage when they ruled Korea in the 1900's.

I walked out of the International ferry port and promptly into a wave of traffic coming at me from the wrong direction. Lost as I was, I managed to meet a fellow kiwi and his Scottish girlfriend coming the other way, Gabe and Cara decided to take me under their wing while I got my bearings. They promptly got us lost as we traveled on the subway, and we had under paid on our tickets so we couldn't get through, it was lucky that a nice Korean woman with her young family showed us how to jump over the turn styles for free. After looking around we decided to go back to Seomyeon to set up base. While Gabe and Cara went to freshen up and have a "sleep" I decided to check out the city.

Upon leaving the hotel I took a visual bearing of my whereabouts and set out to sample Pusan. My first sample was of a handicap man trying to sell his mandarins to the passer-bys, his sale pitch consisted of him "moaning/screaming" at the top of his voice, "haewhhhawoooo" which was less effective than it sounds, but it did look pretty amusing!

My second sample was of all the guys holding hands, I consider myself a twisted version of a SNAG, I don't mind cute lesbians holding hands, but guys? That's just wrong for so many reasons cultural or not. After a while I figured I would partake in this Korean culture and tried to hold some guys hands, but for some reason they didn't want to bridge the cultural gap, I wonder if it was my flaming earrings that put them off?

I went into the Foreigners Market in Pusan, which should be renamed the Russian Market of Pusan. I was amazed at the numerous different wares for sale, along with the Russian whores plying their trade. The Russian markets are full of cheap clothes and glasses, you should never go into one of these shops unless you are willing to buy something or are ignorant of the evil stares as you vacate their shop empty handed. The latter served me well.

I was routinely told to be careful of the Russians while in Pusan, due to their alcoholic and violent nature, although I saw a few things like some guy fighting with his girlfriend and another arguing with one along with people staring at me, no one approached me for trouble, which was lucky. As I had just perfected the art of catching my fart in my hand, and hurling it real fast. I pity the fool with fart in his face!

I stopped into a video store and asked the man if he had "Boogie nights", he replied "penthouse?" and preceded to show me the porno section, which covered nearly 90% of his walls. I suppose it was similar in some ways?

I decided to go back to my hotel in Seomyeon, but when I got off the subway, I could no longer find my visual bearings, someone must have moved them. I stumbled around the city asking people if they knew where my hotel was, for some strange reason they didn't. Along the way I was treated to the interesting spectacle of a man arguing with someone on the phone and kicking his car, which got boring after 10 minutes, so I resumed my search for that elusive hotel. I was sick of asking every hooker on the street so I eventually asked some guy in a convenience store. He closed the store and took me by the hand and together we searched the city. Eventually after him calling various people, he stuck me in a cab and I was taken home, 2 hours after I started my search.

When I got to the hotel I turned on the TV to see what was on, and lo and behold Korean porn! Asian countries are full of it, some sort of heaven me thinks. My fellow hotel occupants fighting with each other woke me several times during the night, that's when I guessed that my hotel wasn't the best.